Still waiting for my limo

[pbray]

Watching Criminal Minds last night the part that made my jaw drop wasn't the acting, nor the plot. It wasn't the cinematography that gave a disturbing insight into what it feels like when you're having a psychotic break.

No, it was the part where the writer's agent arrived in a limousine to pick him up for a booksigning.

Later in the episode the agent feels guilty for not having seen his client for several months, and thus not having been close enough to recognize that his client was experiencing a mental breakdown.

It reminded me of Ann Crispin's post earlier this month where she talked about how unrealistic portrayals of the agent/artist relationship may shape the expectations of aspiring writers, inadvertently making them more likely to fall for scam agents with their unrealistic promises.

Real agents don't have time to personally hand-hold each of their clients. They don't drop by for casual visits on the off-chance that we might have a few new pages to share with them, nor do they act as surrogate mothers, secretaries, or lifestyle coaches. I'm sure arcaedia will be pleased to know that I don't expect her to monitor my mental health. Though should I ever make NYT bestseller status and rate a limousine to take me to my booksignings, she's welcome to join me for drinks as we ride.

And in a totally unrelated note, finished WebMage by Kelly McCullough. I'm going to fail at the 52 book challenge I set myself, but it's likely that my 2007 score will be higher than last year's, so that's progress.

Comments

[arcaedia.livejournal.com]

Hee. I haven't seen that ep yet (I'm still working my way through Season 2) but I saw another show - Judging Amy - where there was a particularly funny (to me) portrayal of a meeting between an agent and author. I agree that the media tends to throw it off quite a bit. I even have clients I've yet to meet in person (let alone casually drop by to visit)!

But I look forward to having that limo ride with you someday....

[pbray.livejournal.com]

>>But I look forward to having that limo ride with you someday....

Me too!

[eeknight.livejournal.com]

Heh. Where do they get this stuff?

In a successful five-year business relationship, I've seen my agent face-to-face twice. The first time shouldn't really count because he wasn't my agent then. We've gone nine or ten months without even talking on the phone.

Though we do send each other Christmas cards.

I get editor-envy too. People think we have long conversations about craft and style (probably over cognac) discussing the finer points of the semicolon. I tell them our conversations about writing pretty much stick to manuscripts -- my screw-ups, inconsistencies, and bad patches. Our relationship is more road crew to spring potholes than English deptartment colleagues.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine has multi-hour telephone conversations with his agent and editor. I think I'd chew my own limbs off.

If we're both at the same con, I'll meet with my agent or editor. Otherwise it's e-mail or short phone calls, which works just fine. I'd rather not waste their time with social chitchat.

[anghara.livejournal.com]

I've been with my wonderful agent for just over five years now. In that time she has sold seven books of mine, in thirteen languages (total) worldwide.

Sure, we send each other christmas cards and stuff - and when I go to exotic places (like Alaska, last year, and Japan, this summer) I make calendars of my photos and my agent gets one of them - it's a sort of "looking forward to ANOTHER year" present.

She has phoned me when she has needed to. We have had at least three phone conversations that I KNOW lasted longer than an hour, discussing (in detail) works in progress or under construction at the proposal stage. I have met her several times, when I go over to Lunacon on teh east coast I make a point of popping into NYC and seeing her while I am there.

Do I expect her to rock up in a limo? No. But she HAS paid for a taxi ride a couple of times, getting us across New York to lunch appointments with editors and suchlike.

She's a gem. I can live without the limo.

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

Given the tremendous inaccuracy with which all manner of things are represented on TV (I am almost always asked to leave the room when any TV show features anything having to do with giving birth, nursing a baby, caring for a newborn, etc., because it annoys DH when I start to splutter "But-but-but that's not how that works! or that! or that other thing!"), I don't suppose one ought to be surprised. But really.

I suppose this particular thing is either (a) of a piece with the anecdote I read recently (did you post it? I think maybe it was you) about the story meeting in which the Hollywood executive type says "Let's say this character is middle class -- say he makes about $300K", or (b) the creators portraying the "reality" they think viewers expect (perhaps based on experienes with celebrity authors?). Or possibly both.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

"Let's say this character is middle class -- say he makes about $300K"

Ow. My brain.

[irysangel.livejournal.com]

I know. I snorted aloud at that!

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'm still trying to remember where I read that ... maybe on that blog that pbray linked to last week (?) about the writers' strike. The point was of course that the struck-against have absolutely no clue how real people live.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I'm suddenly reminded of the Victorian upper class's widely-held belief that the poor "don't feel pain as we do", because there was no other way in which living in such appalling conditions as the poor did could be conceivable.

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

Mmm-hmm ...

I'm sure I've read analogous justifications of the African slave trade ...

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I think the $300K story was from Doris Egan's blog tightropegirl.

It reminded me of a story a friend told how her brother, a currency trader on Wall Street at the time, castigated her for "chosing to be poor" by picking a career that did not pay mid-six figures a year.

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

See, this is why I'm not a scholar. I remember reading things, but I never remember where I read them.

Your friend's story reminds me of a conversation my mom told me about recently, in which an engineering-professor friend/colleague of my stepdad's said to her, "I could be making a lot of money in the private sector. But I really enjoy teaching, so I'm willing to stay at [institution] even though I only make $70K a year."

My mom was gobsmacked. I was gobsmacked. Clearly we are both in the wrong business.

[difrancis.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I'm expecting any day that my agent is going to send me a virtual limo as a joke. Just, you know, to be able to say she did. Oh! There's Second Life. Maybe it can all be done in the virtual realm. Because I'm not looking for it in reality. I don't know that Neil Gaiman or JK Rowling are either.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure if JK Rowling wanted her agent to pick her up in a limo, he would :-)

I'm still disappointed that being a romance writer wasn't anything like the way it was portrayed in the 1980s movie "American Dreamer". Where was my Paris hotel suite, complete with full-time secretary? Not to mention a charming frontwoman to do all my booksignings and give interviews?