Professional virgins or how not to succeed in a writing career

[pbray]

In preparation for their upcoming annual conference, yesterday I went to the romance writer's bi-annual writing retreat, where jennifer_dunne and I gave our patented "How to pitch to an agent/editor" presentation, with Jennifer taking the role of hopeful author and I was the jet-lagged editor/agent-in-search-of-bar.

A couple folks who were just back from RWA National shared their stories of how their agent/editor appointments went, and this is the point where heartburn set in. One writer had multiple requests to see her manuscript, but wasn't sure if she was going to send it out. She'd heard a number of people saying that the market for that genre was weak, and in her mind this was reason enough not to bother trying. Plus one of the editors she spoke to is from Harlequin UK so she'd have the expense of mailing the manuscript to England. I bit my tongue rather than point out that she'd just dropped at least a thousand dollars to go to National, and now she's quibbling over a few bucks in postage.

Another writer had an agent request to see her work, but the agent wasn't wildly enthusiastic. She'd cut the writer's pitch short, not letting her finish her spiel before asking to see it. I would have taken this as a positive sign but this writer has decided if the agent wasn't in love with the verbal pitch then there's no chance she'll like the manuscript, so why bother?

In both cases the writers said they were considering submitting their manuscripts, eventually, but in reality they were just trolling for more excuses to put it off. I've no doubt that if I check in with these folks at the annual Christmas party I'll learn that both of them have allowed these opportunities to slip through their fingers.

Shame of the matter is that at least one of these women is a very talented writer. But after encouraging her for several years to start submitting her work, I've given up. It looks like she'll remain firmly on the professional virgin side, every now and then sending out a query or meeting with an agent, but never actually taking the emotional risk of incurring one rejection after another until she succeeds.

I firmly believe that the difference between myself and these women isn't a matter of skill so much as it is that I endured two years of rejections, and have the thick stack of rejection letters to prove it. Being a writer is as much about picking yourself up off the mat and trying again as it is about the ability to craft wonderful stories.

And if you happen to stumble across this and recognize yourself, please be angry. Go ahead and prove me wrong by sending your manuscript out. Whatever happens next, whether it's a rejection letter or an acceptance, I promise to be the first to hand you chocolates and buy you a drink.

Comments

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

I've encountered PVs in similar situations, including one with a case of editor interest that made me want to SCREAM. When you garner that level of interest from an agent or editor, you don't waste it. It doesn't fall from the sky.

You can't live people's lives for them.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

You can't live people's lives for them.

Took me a while to learn that lesson but I've finally reached that point. Now I just listen politely if there's no other choice, but refuse to be drawn in.

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

Very liberating at times, the realization that This Is Not My Problem.

[janni.livejournal.com]

You can't live people's lives for them.

I think I've been working on learning that one the past couple years, even though I thought I already knew it!

[kristine-smith.livejournal.com]

I still struggle with it. It can be difficult, especially when you see wasted opportunity.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[mmarques.livejournal.com]

I haven't sent queries yet on my novel, as it's not yet finished.... but I have a short story making the rounds.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

Good for you!

[bosstweed.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing about this! It's really interesting to hear what these types of events are like from the presenters' side. I'm wondering how many people there are out there who come to writing conferences and don't intend to pursue publication intensively. Personally I can't imagine spending that much $$$ without serious intent, but I guess it's no more than some vacations cost.

As a librarian who occasionally teaches, I like your roleplay idea. I've done various roleplay exercises before, but the character types you describe pair up rather nicely with librarian & student-in-a-rush. Librarians are the "hopeful authors" in that we constantly have to pitch our services (novels) to students/staff/faculty who are suspicious of our value (salability).

[pbray.livejournal.com]

Interesting comparison with the librarian angle. Reminds me a bit of the 1 minute salesperson scenarios that were popular back in the 80s, which we had to roleplay.

You'd be surprised how many professional wannabes there are at writing conferences. Back when I first started writing, I joined a local writers group where I met a number of writers who went to conferences for years without ever completing a manuscript, let alone getting ready to submit. It took a while but eventually I learned how to spot these folks and avoid them.

[libwitch.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, the fear of failure. I am struggling with that right now - some things I need to do I have not done because (and it took a long time realize this) I am afraid I will fail. If I don't try, I can't fail.

Of course, I at least finally realized what was going on and that I am the only one that can move myself forward.

Huzzah to you finally realizing you can not motivate them - you will probably find your confererence much less stressful!

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I've struggled with fear of failure and I'm sure I will do so for the rest of my life. As you said, the key is to recognize this and then to find a coping strategy that works.

[jennifer-dunne.livejournal.com]

There's also the ever popular:
Do you want to "Be a Writer" or do you want to write?

If your goal is to "Be a Writer", it is more important for you to be seen doing writerly things, to go to conferences, to hang out in coffee shops with a pile of scattered pages or the latest, shiniest laptop, while you mutter suitably writerly things under your breath.

If your goal is to write, you might also never submit your work. But at least you'll write and finish it, so your heirs can get rich off of your efforts. :-)

[pbray.livejournal.com]

My goal is minions!