Happy to be here

[pbray]

Returned home last night to the (still) lizard infested house and was able to catch eight hours of sleep in my own bed. Still exhausted after WFC and the business trip which involved early mornings and staying up late each night to work on spreadsheets and presentations, but I'm now back in my own place and it feels good.

Great to wake up knowing where you are, have a cup of coffee out of one of my own mugs while reading one of the books I picked up at WFC. As I was taking my shower, several lines of dialogue popped into my head for the next scene of the WiP, which is a sign that my creative brain is also happy to be home.

I'm completely behind on LJ and catching up with my friends list, so apologies if I've missed responding to any comments. But one meme did catch my eye, as jaylake asked people to chime in on the question "Why did I choose to become a writer?"


When I thought about the question "Why did I choose to become a writer?" it immediately struck me that this was a bit like going to the zoo and asking the zebra why he chose to become a zebra. I am a writer. It's as much a part of me as the color of my hair, or my near-sightedness.

I'll grant that in an earlier time I would have been a storyteller rather than a writer, but to my mind that's merely shades of the same thing.

In my opinion, the more interesting question is "Why did I decide to try to become a published writer?"

It's one thing to scribble in notebooks or on your computer, writing essays and stories that no one else ever reads. Or to make up long, elaborate stories for your children, as both my parents did, or to spin the facts into stories that were far more interesting than the literal truth, as is ingrained on the Sullivan side of my family tree.

It's another thing entirely to take the precious words that you've crafted, and to send them out into the world, running the risk of scorn & rejection. And to do this not once, or twice, but again and again. To be a published author is to invite rejection. It doesn't matter whether you are trying to sell your first story, or your seventh. I've faced rejection at all stages of my career, from my first manuscript which never sold, to having book proposals rejected after I'd already published several novels. Not to mention that once the book is published, you then have to deal with negative reviews, e-mail from readers complaining that your latest offering sucks, etc.

The reason why I'm a published writer boils basically down to ego. I knew I was that good. I knew I could write stories that were as good (or better) than the average offering on the shelves of my local bookstore. And I had a hunger to share my stories with others, with strangers outside the circle of family & close friends.

I need to write, and I need to share these stories with others. Dealing with rejection still hurts, but every negative is offset by the positives--fans who stop me at a con to tell me how much they've enjoyed one of my stories, reading a glowing review written by a complete stranger, and even the simple joy of walking into a bookstore and being able to point to where my books sit on the shelves.

To sum up, I am a writer, and most days it is good to be me.

Comments

[jaylake.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

You're welcome! It's a question that often comes up, but I'd never taken the time to articulate my answer. Was interested to see in your LJ thread how many other people felt that writing wasn't a choice, it was inevitable.