Would the real Patricia Bray please stand up?

[pbray]

I'm wondering how other people manage social media, and the balance between their writing lives and their personal lives. Or do you even see the need for a balance at all?

I suspect this is at least partially my age, or an artifact of my upbringing, but I tend to draw a line between my role as Patricia-the-author versus the other portions of my life. When I joined livejournal, it was to connect with other writers and industry professionals, as we moved off bulletin boards and mailing lists and onto blogs. Over time the lines have blurred, but the primary focus of the blog continues to be the life of Patricia the writer, with occasional rants on the day job or whatever else is going on. On livejournal (or dreamwidth), anyone can friend me, and nearly all of my posts are public.

For the day job, I'm a member of Linkedin. I've had requests from writers to join their Linkedin networks which I always decline. It would be different if my day job was in publishing, but it's not, so the only overlap is me. Linkedin has my day job contact information, which is appropriate only in relationship to Corporate!Patricia.

Then there's Facebook, which I joined because that's where the family was posting the photos of my nieces and nephews. My Facebook friends are limited to real life friends and family, and all of my information and posts are restricted to that group. This is partially because I can't afford the timesink of following a huge number of people on Facebook, and also because the family stuff posted there isn't appropriate for a wider audience. I continually get friends requests on Facebook which I usually wind up ignoring unless it's someone that I know personally. But then I feel bad about ignoring them. I've considered setting up a fan Facebook page, which would then be open to anyone who wanted to friend me, but do I really have the time to manage two separate Facebook accounts?

As to Twitter, I suspect if I had a Twitter account it would push me over the edge.

So, how about the rest of you? How do you manage your presence on the interwebs?

Comments

[lagilman]

I've muddled about with this, too, not to separate one career from another, but to keep my personal life personal/private, while still developing a community within the social networks. Like you, I use LinkedIn as a purely business thing - although my business is publishing, I tend not to connect with other writers, but people who might be useful to the freelance side of things (copywriting, editing, etc). I don't connect just because I know someone.

Twitter and Facebook are about building reader-community. I'm there the same way I would be at a convention, open and about. The fact that FB also connects me to my family and old friends is sometimes a plus (3-in-1!) and sometimes a minus (I ask people to ask me before they tag me in a photo, but it doesn't always sink in to them why I might be protective of my public image. So far, nothing embarrassing has appeared, but...

It may seem as though I share an awful lot on Facebook and Twitter that isn't work-related, but in truth, it's all carefully filtered. The things that have no bearing on that life (who I am dating, my health, etc) do not get posted.

Livejournal is another beast. I've always been careful about what I posted, from back in my editorial days (it's good to know your editor, bad to know too much) but this is "home." I tend to be more open here, not the least because there's more space to open up and rant. But still, anything on the personal scale? Locked. Or, better yet, taken to e-mail.

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

For the record: not a writer (or a professional one, anyway), so you can take this with a grain of salt. Or not.

I joined LJ because I wanted to comment on some writers' own LJs, and if I'm doing that I hate using "Anonymous". Once I got here, I liked the GEnie-esque community; "join for the authors, stay for the fun" I suppose.

However, this is completely and utterly separate from my professional life in IT Security. I don't post about it or mention it much, mainly because I kind of like staying employed. Not even counting public posting of corporate sensitive data, posting about work is a good way to get yourself canned. Like you, I do have a (rarely used) LinkedIn account, but that's strictly the professional me.

Since I do work in IT Security, you can surmise that I don't have a Facebook account. I'm not a big fan of Facebook, which I look on as barely better than an excuse for a company to disseminate information about me to the highest bidder.

[gerbilicous.livejournal.com]

Hello Patricia!

I'm an author as well, and I totally feel you on the social media. I had this LJ account and my Facebook page before I got my contract, and merging my author life and my private life has been rocky. I made an author FB page so I could keep actual FB for the usual pictures of my relatives kids and what not, but turning down friend requests from fans is heartbreaking. I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND, REALLY! I just don't want you to read what a dick my uncle can be. :( I joined Twitter at the urging of my publisher and that's become my primary quick author tool with my site blog for longer stuff. I really admire your ability to keep the day job and writing career separate. I'm a stay at home mom in addition to my book gig, and everything just kind of blends together. But, of course, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Still, Twitter is short, fun, and low commitment. You should join us! (I'm @Rachel_Aaron). It's the way of the future, or so I'm told. :D

- Rachel

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I started LJ as a way of keeping in touch with friends, although these days I also use it for author stuff. FB is mainly for author stuff, when I use it, which is intermittent. I don't tweet: my life is just not that interesting.

[jennifer-dunne.livejournal.com]

LJ is my connection to friends. So you'll hear about what movies I've seen, rants about daily living stuff, etc. I try to keep at least some veil of security/privacy (like for example, I don't refer to Honeybear by name, since I don't want people who are searching for his professional credits to stumble across my personal comments, and only refer to vacations after I'm home so I'm not announcing to the world that my house is empty). And I'll use friends lock to keep stuff considered even more sensitive out of the public eye.

Facebook is my author social media. It's got auto feeds from my websites and LJ posts, and I'll friend anyone who asks, but I rarely post anything directly there. I have a "personal friends" list on FB that I can use to make a locked post, but have never seen the need.

I have a twitter account. I don't use it. I don't get the point of it.

[msagara.livejournal.com]

I have a web page (on wordpress) where I post about my actual books (and answering questions, and sometimes post a progress report over-all).

I use LJ to talk about more general things: writing process, publishing--both of which would be writing about work--and at the moment, something that would generally be considered more personal (my oldest son, ASD & his school experiences). I don't actually consider it personal, in part because most of what I'm now examining is a decade in the past, and in part because it requires some of the objectivity or examination of viewpoint (mine, teachers, other parents, other children, my son's). My hope for the latter is that some people might find it helpful in some way.

But LJ is kind of home on the internet in that way for me as well. I don't, otoh, lock posts, because home or not, it's still a form of public. What I don't do on LJ, or my website, or any of the other venues, is vent. If I want to vent, I phone someone. I know that venting is entirely about my reaction in the moment, and that once I've blown off some steam, I'll be able to objectively assess the situation.

Facebook is entirely public, and I do get a lot of readers friending me; I'll answer questions if they post them on my wall, etc. But oddly enough, I auto-link my own LJ posts (I never repost anything from anyone else's LJ) as status reports. My friends and family are also on facebook, and I tend to comment on their status in a more relaxed way; I don't, however, post a lot that's personal there.

Twitter, however? It's my water cooler. When I'm distracted or when I need to take a break for five minutes and maybe even talk to another writer, even briefly, Twitter is like a giant chatroom that I can join and leave in progress. Some of my best writer friends are on Twitter. I'm not entirely pithy or witty, but in part, it's not for that that I'm there. I like the brief sense of touching base that's not so static.

But here's the thing: My career, at the moment, is as a writer. My personal obsessions have always been about structure and process, about the minutiae of different parts of the business, about bookstores (which I swear I lived in in high school), so talking about what interests me is...talking about writing a lot of the time. Even if I talk about what I did full-time before children, it would be about publishing, because I managed an SF/F bookstore. If I talked about the full-time after children, it would be about the children, and I've always hesitated to do that because their lives are not my life.

The reason I've only started writing the most recent, and non-writing, posts? I've always wanted to, because I thought some people in similar situations might find them helpful, if only to know they're not alone -- but I really, really couldn't until my son was old enough to give me permission to discuss things on-line. I try very hard not to use his name, though.

[allaboutm-e.livejournal.com]

I am never less than me in any of my on-line presences, but I am more me some places (namely LJ) than others.

Generally one can determine how intimate the connection to me is by the mentions of dog feces. :)

I've been on LJ for ... seven years? And while I'm not on as often as I used to be, because I am on Facebook daily for work purposes as the admin of Mysterious Galaxy's Facebook page, I still have a more comfortable connection with LJ. I am connected to people on FB I wouldn't be connected to on LJ, I don't think ... but on FB, to take advantage of the networking ability to say that John Grisham (not an actual FB connection) is doing a MG event, I need that connection.

Mostly I log on to LinkedIn about once a month, and would be glad to give recommendations on it if needed, but that's about it. Among other things, the only-Amazon links to its book recommendations annoy me.

And because I have enough timesuck commitments on-line anyway, and my only connection option to Twitter would be through my desktop, I tweet not.

YMMV.

[vespican.livejournal.com]

I joined Live Journal three years or so ago to be able to post a comment on a journal that had restricted anonymous comments. Since I had the page I decided to post a little about my efforts to become a published writer. That has expanded to include other areas. I recently joined my first Live Journal Community, and find that that and the relatively small list of LJ Friends keeps me occupied for too much time. I'd never get any of the other stuff done that I use the computer for if I had Face Book, Twitter, or any of the other social networks.
Dave

[sylvia-rachel.livejournal.com]

I am semi-anonymous on LJ, but non-anonymous on Facebook and LinkedIn. I tend not to friend co-workers on Facebook, and especially not my staff -- although I am Facebook friends with my boss: this is good, because it helps me guard against the temptation to Facebook while at work ;^). I am on LJ because I like to talk :P and because it is full of other people's journalling that I like to read and comment on and talk about.

My LinkedIn self does not visibly connect to my LJ self. So the few professional contacts I have on LinkedIn (I have not gotten really into LinkedIn) are not likely to find my veiled work-related rants on LJ. (If it's going to be blatantly obvious who or what the rant is about, I friendslock it, or even make it eyes-only. But I do that as a last resort, because several of my RL friends who read my LJ are not on LJ themselves, so anything I friendslock they can't see. A couple of these people are not on Facebook either.)

I am on Facebook largely because almost everyone I want to keep in touch with lives somewhere quite far away, and my travel budget is ... wait, travel budget? what is this travel budget of which you speak? o_O

Since I am not famous, not even a little bit, my situation is obviously different, but I would characterize my presence on LJ and FB as largely personal and my presence on LinkedIn as largely professional.

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

Once your boss calls you up at 5 a.m. on a Saturday to scream that they quoted your sound bite on the Federal Page of The Washington Post instead of his boss's, you realize that everything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion. That happened to me a long time ago, but it's not a lesson you ever forget.
Since even my nonfiction is genre-related these days, I deploy on as many social media as I can stand: LJ, Blogger, My Space, Facebook, Twitter. I don't used Linked-In because it serves professional purposes which no longer apply, and I don't want to clutter the electrons. Regardless of the media, however, I self-censor as though I'm at a con and try not to be too much of a dork.
That said, there are differences in how I use the different venues. I've been on LJ the longest and find it easier to connect with long-distance writing friends here. So I'm more likely to comment on posts, follow member links to an interesting post and generally participate in the community. I use Twitter like a water cooler. That's where I share interesting links (I'm a history geek) and repost Tweets that amuse me. It's the ten minute break from word-wrangling and domestic business. My Space and Blogger are promo venues. Period.
Facebook... Ah, Facebook. I'd treat it as a promo venue if I could, but... But remember how our parents used to complain how nobody called anymore? These days, they don't even email. The only way I can find out what's happening with family and local writing friends is to cruise Facebook. People won't communicate directly, but they'll post anything: vacation, cancer, imminent death. My mom used to obsessively pore over newspaper obituaries to see who she'd outlived...er, if there was anyone she knew who needed comfort or condolences. I'm using Facebook to make sure I'm not missing any important funerals. It's sick.
Naturally, I'm trying to think of how I can use it in a story. ;-)

[pbray.livejournal.com]

It's a delicate balance of what do I share about myself, what do others share about me, and what do I share about them. For instance, on Facebook relatives will post pictures of the kids to my wall, but they don't necessarily want those pictures to be public, which is something I completely understand and support.

I think I'm coming down on the side of having a public Patricia and a private Patricia Facebook life, so I don't have to worry about unintended crossovers.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I reluctantly joined Facebook simply because it was where the family was sharing pictures of the kids. I understand that it's a great promotional tool for authors, but see previous concern re: timesinks.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND, REALLY!.

That's exactly it. I feel bad about not friending them (and friending is a terrible term for it), but there's no button to say "I'm so sorry, I know you want to hang out together, but this virtual room is reserved for visits by my family, and they're not interested in sharing details of their lives with my fan community, so I'm going to have to say No."

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I promise not to be (the first) to post such a picture of you :-)

[pbray.livejournal.com]

With everything else going on, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to keep on top of all the social media tools, and still get any writing done.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I think I need to set up a facebook fan page that gets auto posts from my blog and twitter. In my infinite free time, of course.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

If I were a full-time writer I suspect I would use Twitter and other social media tools more, in order to stay connected.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

I've been watching more and more of my friends shift from being frequent LJ posters to an active presence on Facebook, which appears to have hit critical mass in terms of outreach to potential fans/customers. Others have set up auto feeds to link their webpage, LJ, facebook and twitter activity together.

Something to think about, when I get spare time.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

It's the time sink that will kill you. My LJ friendslist is small--there are lots of interesting folks posting great stuff out there, but I don't have time to keep up with it all.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

LJ is a great way to keep up with all the friends I've made at conventions that I only get to see once every year or two. Facebook offers a similar potential, and it does appear to be where much of the conversation is moving.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

You're right, even email is dying. I'm not yet at the stage where I am checking Facebook for obituaries, but it is the place where I hear that a cousin needs knee surgery, or that an aunt is planning a trip back east.

[jennifer-dunne.livejournal.com]

there's a thing a lot of LJers use to autopost their tweets. I know tryslora uses it, and could probably help you set it up if it's not intuitively obvious. and there's an app that autoposts LJ posts to FaceBook, which as I recall *was* intuitively obvious. So two apps, and you're done. :-)

And, if you're serious about the website redesign, I now know how to link the website updates with facebook.

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. That's how I think FB has gotten the last bit of it's growth in the U.S. market: "everyone else is there and sharing stuff with their friends, so if you want to see them too, you need to be on FB." That's the one thing that MySpace missed out on by allowing non-MySpace users access to the pages.

[mtlawson.livejournal.com]

My wife looks at the obits all the time in the local paper, and I can't say that I've looked at them more than once or twice in the past decade or so. Do I miss funerals? Probably, but I don't feel like being morbid about my day.

Naturally, I'm trying to think of how I can use it in a story. ;-)

As in, if your account on FB is deleted, do you cease to exist?

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

Relatives' illnesses, injuries and funerals, unfortunately. The rest of the world can pass on in peace. But you got to take care of family, or they're all too likely to take care of you. ;-)
As for the deletions, I'm thinking it could happen.