When I/T programmers snap
Mar. 13th, 2007 03:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pbrayToday's highlight was a conversation with a coworker. In the following CC stands for Clueless Coworker and PB stands for Long Suffering IT Professional.
CC: "I need you to find out how much these charges were so I can finish programming my spreadsheet."
PB: "I can get the number, but what are you going to do with it?"
CC: "I'm going to plug it into my spreadsheet that calculates the exemptions."
PB: "But you don't need that spreadsheet. I automated the process so the exemptions are already loaded into the expense database. Remember? We talked about this yesterday? I gave you the instructions on how you can use the canned reports to retrieve what you need right from the database?"
CC: "But I still need that number. So I can calculate the estimated adjustments for my reports."
PB (takes deep breath and then begins pounding head against desk): "But... but... but the corporate adjustments have already been loaded. Why do you want to manually calculate an estimated adjustment when you can see the actual numbers?"
CC: "I might need the data. (pause). And anyway, I can't figure out why my spreadsheet is giving me a number that's way too low."
PB: "The official adjustments were $$, which is right in line with our expectations."
CC: "My spreadsheet is giving me a different number."
(Silence as PB decides not to care, and doesn't respond).
CC: "Oh, wait, I figured out what's wrong with my formulas. (beat). So I don't need my spreadsheet after all?"
PB: "No. Use the canned reports."
CC: "Oh. Um, okay."
It took over 20 minutes to convince CC that a) he didn't need his manual report, and b) I wasn't going to help him debug his personal spreadsheet when there were already canned reports with the official answers in them. Keep in mind that CC was the one pushing for the automated process to begin with....
If you stare closely at my forehead, I think it spells out sxdcfvgbhnjmk,l. Backwards.
CC: "I need you to find out how much these charges were so I can finish programming my spreadsheet."
PB: "I can get the number, but what are you going to do with it?"
CC: "I'm going to plug it into my spreadsheet that calculates the exemptions."
PB: "But you don't need that spreadsheet. I automated the process so the exemptions are already loaded into the expense database. Remember? We talked about this yesterday? I gave you the instructions on how you can use the canned reports to retrieve what you need right from the database?"
CC: "But I still need that number. So I can calculate the estimated adjustments for my reports."
PB (takes deep breath and then begins pounding head against desk): "But... but... but the corporate adjustments have already been loaded. Why do you want to manually calculate an estimated adjustment when you can see the actual numbers?"
CC: "I might need the data. (pause). And anyway, I can't figure out why my spreadsheet is giving me a number that's way too low."
PB: "The official adjustments were $$, which is right in line with our expectations."
CC: "My spreadsheet is giving me a different number."
(Silence as PB decides not to care, and doesn't respond).
CC: "Oh, wait, I figured out what's wrong with my formulas. (beat). So I don't need my spreadsheet after all?"
PB: "No. Use the canned reports."
CC: "Oh. Um, okay."
It took over 20 minutes to convince CC that a) he didn't need his manual report, and b) I wasn't going to help him debug his personal spreadsheet when there were already canned reports with the official answers in them. Keep in mind that CC was the one pushing for the automated process to begin with....
If you stare closely at my forehead, I think it spells out sxdcfvgbhnjmk,l. Backwards.
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-13 09:35 pm (UTC)I don't suppose you'd want to relocate to Canada to work for a non-profit scholarly publisher?? We are nice to our IT people when they do things for us, and bake them cookies ...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 12:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 01:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 01:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 01:26 am (UTC)Today was definitely one of those days when the idea of retiring from the quasi-managerial fray to bake cheesecakes for a living exercised more than its usual appeal.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 01:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 01:29 pm (UTC)They even use Bernard Callebaut chocolate!
I don't suppose they deliver to Ontario? 'Cos my birthday's coming up ...
(I think I'd have to work on my presentation, though. And get a more reliable oven :P)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 02:00 pm (UTC)devouraccidentally lose the package.The best part of her bakery is that they don't just sell entire cheesecakes-- you can walk in and get a slice of any cheesecake (or other cake) they have in the case. Mmm, now I'm hungry.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-14 02:12 pm (UTC)Alas.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-15 03:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-15 07:45 pm (UTC)Movie deal, action figures, scandalous shots of me being sold to People magazine-- I'm READY!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-03-15 09:30 pm (UTC)