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I've been working on revisions, all the live long day
Describe algor mortis, livor mortis and rigor mortis.
Oh, no, wait, that's the exam I'm studying for.
Back to the topic of the day, revisions. A couple of weeks back I posted my patented process for dealing with revisions. Today I'm going to discuss the contents of a revision letter, and how I make the requested changes. Keep in mind that this is one writer's process, and not meant to imply that this is the only way, it's simply the way that works for me.
I've worked with three editors so far in my career, and when it comes to revisions I've received a wide variety of directions from the useless "Okay as-is" to the thoughtful commentary that I've come to expect in working with my Bantam editor Anne Groell.
The revision letter for THE FINAL SACRIFICE was fairly typical. No major rewrites were requested, but there were a number of points that needed to be addressed. And proving that I am indeed trainable, this was the first time in this series that I didn't receive the direction "Needs to be darker."
Note that the examples discussed below are invented, to avoid spoilers for the book in question.
Some of the changes are trivial--for instance if I have one city named Alhambra and another named Alondra, my editor might suggest that I change one of those names to avoid confusion.
Some changes point out the obvious. P162: Minister Doe was assassinated on page 73, so how can he be at this meeting? Please fix.
Character arcs may not be fully developed, resulting in a comment such as Cain's attack on Abel (p333) seems to come from out of the blue, can you show the build up of tension between the brothers to make this more believable?
A scene may not be working as designed, leading to We never find out what happened after the zebras received rainbow tattoos. Can you show us the aftermath?
After I've gone through and made my changes, my final step is to go back to the revision letter, and document everything I've done. Yes, I'm aware this is OCD, but it's a good final check for me. When I mail the revised manuscript back to my editor, the accompanying documentation will look something like this.
Dear Anne,
Enclosed is the revised manuscript for....
Attached is a summary of the changes that I've made.
Alhambra and Alondra sound very similar, change?
Done.
P162: Minister Doe was assassinated on page 73, so how can he be at this meeting? Please fix.
While my instinct is to write "Yes, I'm a moron," the actual comment would be Should have been his successor Minister Smith, made correction in text.
Cain's attack on Abel (p333) seems to come from out of the blue, can you show the build up of tension between the brothers to make this more believable?
I've added hints of tension between the brothers in their earlier scenes together, and written a new scene that begins on page 265 from Cain's POV, which highlights his lack of self-worth and growing frustration with the attention his brother is receiving.
We never find out what happened after the zebras received rainbow tattoos. Can you show us the aftermath?
I've rewritten this scene to make it clear that it's not the tattoos that are important, it's the fact that all of the zoo animals are behaving uncharacteristically. This then ties back to the earlier mention of airborne psychotropic drugs, and foreshadows Amy's own descent into temporary madness. Note in this case I didn't implement the change suggested, I made a different change that addressed the underlying problem.
If I've made any other changes not specifically requested in the revision letter, I'd mention these as well. This way if my editor is pressed for time, she can skip to the sections with significant changes, rather than having to read the entire manuscript from the beginning to see what I've done.
In the end, while my editor is the one that highlighted areas to be addressed, each change that I've made has made the book more recognizably mine. The result is a book that could only have been written by Patricia Bray.
And now it's time to study for my exam tomorrow. For those keeping score at home:
ALGOR MORTIS: the cooling of the body after death.
LIVOR MORTIS: the settling of blood in the lower regions of the body after death, sometimes refered to as lividity.
RIGOR MORTIS: the stiffening of the body after death. Note that maximum stiffness is achieved approximately 10-15 hours after death, and the body will remain in this state for 24-36 hours before relaxation begins.
Oh, no, wait, that's the exam I'm studying for.
Back to the topic of the day, revisions. A couple of weeks back I posted my patented process for dealing with revisions. Today I'm going to discuss the contents of a revision letter, and how I make the requested changes. Keep in mind that this is one writer's process, and not meant to imply that this is the only way, it's simply the way that works for me.
I've worked with three editors so far in my career, and when it comes to revisions I've received a wide variety of directions from the useless "Okay as-is" to the thoughtful commentary that I've come to expect in working with my Bantam editor Anne Groell.
The revision letter for THE FINAL SACRIFICE was fairly typical. No major rewrites were requested, but there were a number of points that needed to be addressed. And proving that I am indeed trainable, this was the first time in this series that I didn't receive the direction "Needs to be darker."
Note that the examples discussed below are invented, to avoid spoilers for the book in question.
Some of the changes are trivial--for instance if I have one city named Alhambra and another named Alondra, my editor might suggest that I change one of those names to avoid confusion.
Some changes point out the obvious. P162: Minister Doe was assassinated on page 73, so how can he be at this meeting? Please fix.
Character arcs may not be fully developed, resulting in a comment such as Cain's attack on Abel (p333) seems to come from out of the blue, can you show the build up of tension between the brothers to make this more believable?
A scene may not be working as designed, leading to We never find out what happened after the zebras received rainbow tattoos. Can you show us the aftermath?
After I've gone through and made my changes, my final step is to go back to the revision letter, and document everything I've done. Yes, I'm aware this is OCD, but it's a good final check for me. When I mail the revised manuscript back to my editor, the accompanying documentation will look something like this.
Dear Anne,
Enclosed is the revised manuscript for....
Attached is a summary of the changes that I've made.
Alhambra and Alondra sound very similar, change?
Done.
P162: Minister Doe was assassinated on page 73, so how can he be at this meeting? Please fix.
While my instinct is to write "Yes, I'm a moron," the actual comment would be Should have been his successor Minister Smith, made correction in text.
Cain's attack on Abel (p333) seems to come from out of the blue, can you show the build up of tension between the brothers to make this more believable?
I've added hints of tension between the brothers in their earlier scenes together, and written a new scene that begins on page 265 from Cain's POV, which highlights his lack of self-worth and growing frustration with the attention his brother is receiving.
We never find out what happened after the zebras received rainbow tattoos. Can you show us the aftermath?
I've rewritten this scene to make it clear that it's not the tattoos that are important, it's the fact that all of the zoo animals are behaving uncharacteristically. This then ties back to the earlier mention of airborne psychotropic drugs, and foreshadows Amy's own descent into temporary madness. Note in this case I didn't implement the change suggested, I made a different change that addressed the underlying problem.
If I've made any other changes not specifically requested in the revision letter, I'd mention these as well. This way if my editor is pressed for time, she can skip to the sections with significant changes, rather than having to read the entire manuscript from the beginning to see what I've done.
In the end, while my editor is the one that highlighted areas to be addressed, each change that I've made has made the book more recognizably mine. The result is a book that could only have been written by Patricia Bray.
And now it's time to study for my exam tomorrow. For those keeping score at home:
ALGOR MORTIS: the cooling of the body after death.
LIVOR MORTIS: the settling of blood in the lower regions of the body after death, sometimes refered to as lividity.
RIGOR MORTIS: the stiffening of the body after death. Note that maximum stiffness is achieved approximately 10-15 hours after death, and the body will remain in this state for 24-36 hours before relaxation begins.
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Thanks!
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Hee Hee. Sorry, couldn't help that little play on words.
What are you studying to have to know about algor, livor and rigor? My boyfriend portrays a 19th century embalming surgeon so I happened to know the above definitions but why would you need to know them?
V.
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